A tantrum is a sudden and often violent emotional and/or physical eruption. One moment, for example, you are enjoying eating in a restaurant, the next moment he is moaning, whining and screaming because his straw is bent. Children between the ages of 1 to 3 are especially sensitive to frustrations. Children don't usually want to manipulate or tease you with keeping a tantrum. So it is usually a reaction from frustration. Toddlers can understand many words but are limited to produce these words back. When children have difficulty expressing themselves (emotionally) their frustration increases. What can you do about it? 1. Keep your head cool! Easier said than done, a tantrum is not pleasant. In addition to kicking, screaming and hitting the floor, your toddler can still throw stuff, punch, and take his breath until he sees blue. Although it all looks dramatic, even breathing is a normal behavior for a child who has a rage attack. When your child gets a tantrum, he is unable to reason and listen, and will react negatively to shouts or threats. The best that you can do as a parent is to sit down and wait for it to get overblown. In general, the advice is to stay close because the storm of emotions that your child is through can be frightening for him. If you get frustrated as a parent, it is better to leave the room and come back after a few minutes, as soon as your child has stopped crying. By staying calm, you help your child to become calm again. There are several ways to deal with this. With Fall and rise you learn the approach that works with your child. Your child gets a tantrum? For example, you can embrace and comfort him. If your child experiences this as a reward, you can choose to ignore your child during a tantrum and if your child is completely soothed to embrace it. You can also give your child a judicious time-out after a tantrum. Whichever way you choose, remember that you always have to respond consistently to temper tantrums. 2. Remember that you are the adult. It doesn't matter how long a tantrum persists, the important thing is that you don't admit to unreasonable demands or that you try to negotiate with your screaming toddler. It is so tempting to use these ways in public to end the tantrum with your child. Try not to be busy what others think. Know that anyone who has a parent is going to be dealing with it sooner or later. By giving up, you teach your baby that throwing stuff is a good way to enforce his sentence, and thus create a negative example for future conflicts. Children also feel scared during tantrums because they have no control. The last thing your child needs is to get the feeling that you have no control over both of you. If your child's eruption becomes so serious that he hurts other people or animals, pick it up and wear it to a safe place. Tell him why he is there, and let him know that you stay with him until he is quiet. If you are in a public place and your child gets a tantrum, then the best way is to leave with your child and wait until he is calmed down. 3. Use Time-outs sparingly. Depending on the child, or your way of educating, you can occasionally help him out. This way he can learn to control his behaviour better during a tantrum. The recommended age for a timeout is only from 18 months. A time-out can be a useful tool when your child has a very intensive tantrum, and when all other techniques do not work. Putting your child in a quiet or better yet boring place for a short period of time (counting about one minute per year of his age) can be a good lesson for your child. So he can learn to calm himself down. Always explain what you're doing ("You're going to have a time-out spot, so you can calm down and mum will stand there or sit there") and let your child always know that it's not a punishment. If he refuses to stay in the timeout place, just place it back in space in a firm but very quiet way. Don't be fooled, a child may be able to try 20 times before he has to know that his own approach is not going to work. For your safety, it is important for you as a parent to ensure that your child is safe and there is no interaction/attention between you during the time-out. 4. Talk to your child after a tantrum. When the tantrum is over, keep your child dantegen you and talk to him about what is happening. Discuss the tantrum with simple words, and recognize the frustration of your child. Bagatelliseer his problem never! Help your child to put his feelings into words by, for example, "You were very angry with mommy, after I asked you to eat your food" shows him that if he is going to express his frustration in words, he will achieve a better result. You can help your child by saying, say, "I'm sorry I didn't understand you." Now that you're not screaming, I know what you want. " You don't have to agree with this, but you can now explain your cunt in a quiet way why you don't want to. 5. Let your child know that you love him. Once your child is quiet and you get a chance to talk about the tantrum, give your baby a quick hug and tell him you love him. It is very important to reward your child if he is quiet again and wants to talk about the tantrum. 6. Try to avoid tantrum. Try to find out what are the cause for your child to get a tantrum. Once you know that, plan to get around the rises. If your child becomes more sensitive to tantrums, if he is hungry, make sure you always have food with you. If he is more sensitive to tantrums, for example in the afternoons, make sure you plan your activities in the morning. If your child has problems with the transition from one activity to another, please indicate in advance that it will take place so that he is prepared for the change. Tell for example that your child will leave the playground for 10 minutes, repeat after 5 minutes etc. If you feel like a tantrum, try to distract your child by changing location, giving a toy, or doing something that he doesn't expect like making a crazy face or pointing at a bird. Know that your toddler becomes more self-supporting, so if possible you can offer your toddler choices. Nobody likes to be told what to do, and not at all throughout the day. "Do you want corn or carrots?" instead of "Eat your plate empty". Choices gives a toddler the feeling that he has control. Check how often you say "no". If you find yourself using the word no often, it probably gives you unnecessary stress on your relationship. Try to get some looser and choose your fights very consciously. Because if you are going to battle, you have to continue and "win". And all day battles only arouse frustration, both with you and your toddler. 7. Beware of signs of fatigue. Although daily tantrums for toddlers are perfectly normal, it is clever to keep your toddler observing well and to be possible problems. Is there unrest in the family? Do you have an extremely busy or difficult period behind you? Is there tension between your parents? All these events can provoke extra tantrums. If the tantrums of your child seem exaggerated and always very intense (so much that he hurts himself or others), seek help. Your GP, child psychologist or child coach can help you. 8. Treat your child seriously, communicate in a mature way but with easy words. It sounds strange, but the last thing your baby is waiting for is to be treated as a child. Children want to be taken seriously. As soon as you talk with a high voice, or get too childish, children don't feel taken seriously. This can easily be achieved by entering an adult conversation with your toddler, but without words that he cannot understand. A more mature conversation gives your toddler the idea that you see him as someone who matters, someone who is taken seriously.
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